Lobo's Wild Ranch
Don't get it in your eye!
Mid-delirium from fasting (schedule ur colonoscopy, fellow kids) I find myself hyperfixating on the summer movie fast food tie-ins of 2026.
They are as stupid as I am hungry.
I’m stupid too! Weaned on Happy Meals, Kay-Bee and Saturday morning television, though ur boy has since retired from nugget-based dining out of bodily respect. Long after active duty deployment in the halcyon decade of Batman Forever glassware and Casper hand puppets, I continue to salute this medium from afar as a decorated veteran.
A quarter century removed from slinging Mace Windu pogs, Colonel Sanders is currently holding the bag for Supergirl, a film that children of all ages seem profoundly uninterested in. Nevertheless!
We’re turning the summer blockbuster ritual into a full fried chicken experience. Whether you’re Team Supergirl, Team Lobo or just here for the tenders, box meal meets the box office this summer in the most finger lickin’ good way.
Re: finger lickin’, I believe Lobo would find his, uh… signature sauce as appealing as this commemorative chalice.
Since Nolan already came through and crushed the buildings with a genius IMAX popcorn bucket — he put his whole Odussy in it — I’ll skip further concession stand offerings.
Besides, AMC is not a fast food chain, despite the best efforts of Bavarian Bites.
Neither is Denny’s (sorry Skeletor shake, you’re in a diner) or Papa Johns (takeout pizza requires its own cursed category, so I will rip on Toy Story 5’s Space Ranger Roni and Rootin Tootin Ranch at another time).
We come to this place for Burger King.
The Home Of The Whopper also bet on a franchise underperformer, tho I must admit their Mando crown goes hard. Grogu’s Garlic Chicken Fry 12pc — designed to fit in a car cup holder! — would get destroyed on a weekly basis if it came with a side of the metabolism I possessed during Episode One’s theatrical run.
McDs pivoted to the pitch this year, leaving Wendy’s as the last childhood staple worth breaking edge for.
Not just to dunk a french fry in a shake once again, but to enjoy this season’s only decent drive-thru pairing…
The Minions & Monsters meal.
One-eyed Wendy! Blind box collectibles! The all-new Banana Frosty Swirl® and Pineapple Minion MischieFizz Coca-Cola Freestyle® beverage!
“Will Hollywood Ever Give the Minions Their Due?”
You gotta admit, my dudes inspired a feel-good four-quadrant flick about the power of friendship cinema (“the main minion is essentially Sammy Fabelman”) and a menu seasoned with joy.
He just like me fr!
Fiddlehead, “Baby I’ll Change” — despite great merch and several “you’d probably like these guys” recommendations, Fiddlehead didn’t click for me until this slow burn bruiser of a single / video. More Jade Tree vibes than nu-HxC but you can still check ‘em on the Turnstile tour. Let’s go, dads!
Chanpan, autogratis (“Chindie sleaze” frying me)
A-Trak HÖR Berlin mix (shop the shirt)
Silencer ft. Chip, Kruz Leone, Hitman Hyper, Bruza, Frisco, JME, P Money & D Double E, “Through Ball” (it’s giving “Forward Riddim”)
HXG, “RedRum” (dir. Cam Erickson)
All The Queens Houses documentary short — director Sean Mowry tags along with architect / artist Rafael Herrin-Ferri as he chronicles the beautifully idiosyncratic homes of The World’s Borough.
Mario Van Peebles on New Jack City’s heightened reality and enduring legacy (love MVP referring to AI as “tricknology”)
NJ Transit World Cup “Ambassador” kits (fiiiiiiiiiiire)
How Sophie Cunningham Accidentally Became the Best WNBA Meme
rareware_artist on IG (“Created DK for DONKEY KONG COUNTRY, DIDDY KONG, BATTLETOADS, KILLER INSTINCT, STARFOX ADVENTURES & more”)
Playlists updated!