I was told I used to shout this from the toilet.
Long before music, film, books and clothes entered the chat, I learned psycho collector behavior thanks to action figures — specifically, Kenner’s Star Wars line, who beat Pokemon to gotta catch ‘em all by several decades, while providing an “early reader” / budding insane person with bathroom literature.
Kenner’s checklist wasn’t the era’s only cardback of note (shout out all my people clipping G.I. Joe filecards and TMNT Pizza Points) but it speaks to the knack this particular company had for world building and obsession fuel.
May this roundup of their '88-'97 Action Toy Guide scans bring as much joy to your week as it did mine!
There are billions of Kay-Bee SKUs I am happy to talk about at length, anywhere and any time; my friend Ari was not at all surprised that I wanted to discuss the Food Fighters hidden in a background panel of his epigenetic trauma memoir. But for the sake of this ‘stack, lets focus on a niche interest among niche interests.
U see Night Fighter™ RoboCop® up there in the bottom left?
What an absolute unit!
Discovering an existing figure recast in glow-in-the-dark plastic? It felt off, yet somehow doper than the original. Wrong in the best possible way (not unlike making satirical Verhoeven ultraviolence the inspiration for your children’s toy line, but I digress).
Even to a kid in single digits, this guy exuded “IYKYK” energy.
My first encounter with a remix!
Kenner pulled a similar trick a few years later when the SW trilogy returned to theaters, pulling out old molds for a “force ghost” Obi-Wan you had to eat a couple bags of Lay’s for.
They also quietly recycled the Ewok Village playset (among other toys) for Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves line, but that realization simply reinforced my belief that adults were not to be trusted.
Eventually, all the fallen elders of the Skywalker Saga would be available in transparent form, feeding a full-time, eBay-fueled collector’s market that I am in no way knocking. Hasbro’s CEO credits adults driving 60% of their current sales to “a lifetime of play,” which I much prefer to “decoratingThe 40-Year-Old Virgin apartment.”
That said, when you can cop anything with a couple clicks instead of being gobsmacked by a Toys“R”Us clearance aisle find, the game is… not the same.
I’m picky with my pulls. Still love encountering random figs in the wild, especially foreign language Minions on vacation. One day I hope to visit Galaxy Saurio in Madrid with a clear schedule and an empty suitcase.
Still, those see-thru figures stay calling from the beyond…
Invisible Frodo should come with matching turntables, and George Lowe’s recent passing is a reminder to re-up on the actual ghost Space Ghost that turned yellow in my old Greenpoint apartment window. There’s even a yassified version of phosphorescent Robo.
But if anyone’s getting my PayPal it’s this hilariously meta John Cena, a pitch-perfect tribute to the Doctor Of Thuganomics for his WWE retirement tour.
The time is now!
GO! Bat Phoenix — while I’m deep in my nerd bag (JK, I live there), enjoy this lovingly faux ‘80s anime intro for Batman Ninja vs. Yakuza League. Big fan of all the “gritty” Batman projects of the past few years, yet still hold out hope for a Burton-y auteur who realizes Bruce can be both vengeance and a silly goose at the same damn time.
Curren$y & Harry Fraud, Never Catch Us — this Billboard interview is one of the better artist Q&As in recent memory, and germane to today’s theme. “I’m trying to be the first motherfucker with a million Hot Wheels!” Curren$y’s new one keeps the quality level high (pun intended and profoundly red-eyed) making for an ideal “lifestyle rap” companion to Larry June’s latest with 2 Chainz and Alchemist, aka the only records I have in all-day rotation atm besides Carti and Mixtape Pluto.
Babytron, “Hellraiser” — NoahSoCold and Tron continue their beautifully brain-damaged run. “This ain’t no regular sleep, it’s just a thousand dollar pop snore” had me rolling but please monitor ur lean intake everyone.
Maria Mochnacz x PJ Harvey — thanks young me for only having a cursory knowledge of the PJ Harvey catalog so old(er) me could discover some of the best music ever made with fresh eyes and ears. Polly Jean’s visuals tell half the story, and I’m loving her photographer’s archive, esp this Rid Of Me remembrance: “my housemate Mark [was] banging on the bathroom door while we were in there and I was shouting back fuck off we’re making art in a very friendly manner, of course.”
MadeMe Book — speaking of indelible images by singular women! The homie Erin Magee’s pioneering brand gets the Rizzoli treatment, and it’s as much a history book of past collections / campaigns / collaborators as it is a mission statement for what’s to come and (most importantly!) a testament to the power of crew love. Buy yours direct for the bloody Princess Nokia cover.
Playlists updated…